Reflections OF Lori Loughlin

“The Child continued to grow and become strong, increasing in wisdom; and the grace of God was upon Him.” – Luke 2:40, NAS

As a child of the 80’s my husband has become enamored with The Goldbergs.  Though I share the nostalgia of the period I cringe at the helicopter-parenting decisions of the mother on the show, Beverly Goldberg.  I feel so strongly that I have joked if anyone in my household refers to me by any name shared by her, even in jest, I will walk out without word for 48 hours.  [So far my threat has not been tested.] Mrs. Goldberg’s intentions are good, she only wants the best for her children, to help them achieve their dreams, desires…whims and protect them from anything or anyone who might inflict the slightest physical or emotional discomfort.

As an instructor at two different local colleges for twelve years, I have been amazed at how reality has changed to mimic what is deemed entertaining.  It is not unusual for a parent to reach out to university administration, a particular dean or directly to me regarding their “child”.  I scratch my head during these email, phone or direct conversations how this at least 19 year old “child” will ever flourish after college while still being comfortable with the regular intervention of parents.

Never has this desire for the best for our children been more publicized than by the alleged actions in the “College Placement” scandal.   I have heard Ms. Loughlin and Ms. Huffman discussed with passion and bravado on national news, radio and in print; naturally, “everyone” is appalled by their efforts and the money they spent for their child’s perceived “success”.

And yet, minus some zeros or simply the publicity, many parents, myself included are GUILTY OF THE SAME.

I’m certain paying an intermediary a large sum of money was NOT the first time one of the many well-intentioned parents intervened in their child’s life.  Perhaps it was in early elementary, when a father advised his son to perform poorly in a sport evaluation so that the dad/coach can “stack” his team with strong players – under the age of 8! Or perhaps it was when a tween was discovered to have made an inappropriate choice but the well-intentioned parent negotiated with the school so their child would not endure the embarrassment of being dismissed from the team; instead only missing one event.  Maybe it was later when an injury caused academic performance to slip and the parent pursued to the highest echelon of administration even obtaining a physician to agree that their child should be able to take an exam as many times as necessary until the student obtained the “expected result”.

Instead of casting stones at Lori Loughlin and her family, perhaps we would do better to examine ourselves.  I have.  And I have found my parenting…lacking. Especially when compared to scripture.

I find Luke this passage fascinating.  I’ve often imagined what Jesus was like as an infant – what would it be like to have an infant who cried only for NECESSARY reasons….toddler – was HIS first word, ‘No!’.  Did Jesus turn four and begin reciting scripture?  Luke 2:40 provides much insight – according to Luke Jesus grew, physically so HE BECAME strong – He wasn’t born strong as you and I are not born strong.  Strength is obtained through discipline, diligence and effort.  But that’s not all, Jesus INCREASED in wisdom.  Jesus is perfect.  HE is without sin.  HE possesses all wisdom, BUT that wisdom did not descend on Him with the Bethlehem star.  Wisdom GREW in HIM with time because God’s grace was upon Him.

Just a few verses later (Luke 2: 43-44) we see Mary and Joseph have become separated from Jesus.  Based on what I know of God, GOD deemed Mary and Joseph acceptable parents for the Perfect Son of God.  Therefore, Mary and Joseph letting Jesus wander a bit; think explore, outside of their immediate presence does not make them bad parents. 

BUT MARY AND JOSEPH HAD TO LET HIM GO. 

God does not intend for us to hold our children and their affairs so close that we lose the opportunity to get separated.  Because when Jesus separated from His earthly parents, He discovered more about Himself, Who He was.  HE continued to grow in WISDOM.

Are you letting your children go? Or are you making every effort to arrange your schedule to make their life as pain-free as possible? There’s another thought here…

“Although He was a Son, He learned obedience from the things which He suffered.” – Hebrews 5:8, NAS

Two things: 1) Jesus LEARNED to obey – He wasn’t born to be perfect HE CHOSE to be perfect every day, every hour, one choice at a time. 2) Jesus learned obedience through SUFFERING – it’s not the good times that teach us right and wrong, but the hard times.  One of the greatest gifts we can give our children is to let them endure consequences.  Let nature teach!  

A parent, Mom, it is HARD to watch our children hurt.  To let them go.  But we MUST. In the model of Jesus we, as parents, need to examine letting our children learn just like Jesus.

Blessings,

Nancy